
2 years later, Beverly walked into a tarpaper shack that was to be her home in the mission field of Papua New Guinea. It had a two-foot sepration between the walls and the roof, allowing anything to enter or leave the shack. She looked around her surroundings and feeling discouraged, whispered to herself, "I didn't mean this, Lord."
She cried for 2 weeks, and when her husband asked if she wanted to leave the mission field and head for home, she said yes. But the Lord gently and patiently showered His unfailing love upon her until she could say again, "Anywhere, anytime, anything, Lord." She and her husband were most blessed and privileged to see many people come out of darkness into God's marvellous light as they served Him boldly together in Papua New Guinea.
7 years later, Beverly waved goodbye to her only son returning to college in the United States. In her heart she cried, "I didn't mean this, Lord." But again, after much struggling within her heart, she trusted God to take good care of her son while he was half a world away from the family.
2 years later, her family was happily reunited when they were transferred to North Carolina where her husband was to train other aircraft mechanics at the Jungle Aviation and Radio Service base (JAARS, a branch of Wycliffe Bible Translators). Her son planned to become a pilot for the jungle aviation program.
One night Beverly answered the insistent ringing of the telephone. A doctor from a local hospital urged, "Come quickly. There's been an auto accident." Beverly and her husband rushed to the hospital. The doctor met them, and with his voice breaking, he said, "Your son's girlfriend is taking her X-rays now - we think she is going to make it. But...I'm sorry to tell you that your son did not."
Into Beverly's mind flashed the image of a young couple with their 3 small children between them, walking down the aisle of a church and saying, "Anywhere, anytime, anything, Lord." And the enemy of her soul taunted, "See! See what God does when you give everything to Him?" Her heart cried in agony, "Oh, I didn't mean this, Lord."
Then quietly to her heart the Lord said, "Beverly, I gave my only Son for you. Are you willing to let yours go to be with Me?" And she was able to respond with a humble heart of absolute surrender, "Anywhere, anytime, anything, Lord."
All of us ordinary people have an extraordinary call to an extraordinary God, who daily calls each of us to total commitment. Our heart commitment is imperative, our willingness to be totally His - anywhere, anytime, and in anything. God wants us to be wholehearted in following Him. Totally sold out. Willing to pay the price of being His disciples, His servants. The purpose of our lives is to know God..this simply means having total unwavering commitment to God and to His Word with our whole being.
~ Carole Mayhall
Reading about Beverly's testimony in a Christian book entitled 'Words that Hurt, Words that Heal' reminded me of the prayer of surrender that i had prayed to God in October 2004. Truly God held me to my word..eversince then, the Lord has been presenting me with a series of trials, lessons and choices that i had never ever encountered or experienced in my life. It has almost been 2 years since that step of faith and during this period of time, there had been a few times when i have reacted in a faithless and discouraging manner (how ironically we behave when we act in the flesh) and said to Him in my heart.."i didn't mean this, Lord.", "This is just too difficult, Lord." or "Why, Lord?". However, looking back now at all the steps that was taken during my tumultous and winding journey for God, i am so thankful and glad that i can rejoice totally in my heart at this point of my life, and thank God for everything that He had unfolded so wonderfully in my life. i truly see His wondrous Hand everywhere.
i remembered sharing with Mel after Teenz worship one Friday regarding the prayer of commitment and absolute surrender to God..'take the world, take everything away..but give me Jesus'. i remembered telling her that this is really such a tough prayer to pray coupled with a tough call to follow. It is a blessed prayer of total commitment to God and it definitely comes with a price. It is one prayer that when prayed with a truly sincere and tender heart, the Lord will definitely answer swiftly by purging you of every gross, besetting and hidden sin of your life, by making things of this world so dull, boring, unattractive and useless in your sight, by using people and events in your life to reveal to you how very evil, ugly and desperately wicked you are within your sinful heart, by moving deep within your heart to live out the words "Thy Will be done, Lord.", by making you fall so deep in love with Him and His precious Word once every appearance of evil is being purged out from your life each day (because nothing..absolutely NOTHING can compare to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ), by moving you to willingly give up everything that you once held important or precious in your heart and life, etc. God graciously did all that to me..and i am sure that He will keep working on this worthless vessel of me till i see Him face to face in glory one day.
He has shown me so much about myself through all that He has done with each passing day..my weaknesses, my sins, my stubborn will, my sinful heart, my attitudes gone awry when not walking in the Spirit, my reactions in the flesh, my oh-so-very-chicken-little faith in who He is, what He is capable of doing in this generation + this entire universe, and all that He will be doing to fulfil His eternal purposes for me. Just hoping and praying that as He breaks me down and crushes me to make me totally dead to self that He will continue to reveal many precious spiritual lessons along life's way and help me make necessary changes for the better, as well as take appropriate steps of faith for Him. My heart yearns for the passion that He had placed in my heart many, many months before with regards to Cambodia..His beautiful land and His beloved people there. O Lord, please hear my cries for true revival in my heart and life. i truly need You to inflame my very being again with unwavering passion to serve You in utter faithfulness and to love Your people with Your love. Spirit of God, please take my heart and purge it to the maximum..please weed out anything and everything which is not of You in my life. Continue to daily bind so strongly the hands of the evil one and protect and preserve the lives of loved ones, brothers and sisters-in-Christ, especially the lives of Your precious teenagers, from the wicked, horrible and evil ways and lies of the devil. May an undying, passionate love for You, Your Word and Your ways be our radiant light and guide in the midst of this dark and dying world. Thank you so much for making me realise that i am truly nothing without You..may You continue to mould and shape, break and humble me as You fulfil Your divine purpose in spiralling Your beloved children onwards to higher ground for Your ultimate glory.
In Jesus' name,
The Name above all names,
Amen.
For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them..
And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.
And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.
And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.
And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.
And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.
~ Luke 9:56a, 57-62
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